Even Hell Sleeps

Posted on May 14, 2012 by personalfailure

Hi! I’m on vacation this week! It’s going to be awesome. I’m going to hang out at my house and do absolutely nothing- for a whole week!

Anyway, check back Wednesday for the Elsie Dinsmore post.

Posted in atheism | 7 Comments

The Deconstruction of Elsie Dinsmore: Arthur Gets His

Posted on May 16, 2012 by personalfailure

He seems like such a pleasant fellow.

Martha Finley, like all fundies, has a fascination with Hell, no, a love of Hell, that has thus far not been exposed, and is exposed so casually, you could easily miss it. It’s only exposed tangentially, when we see what becomes of Arthur.

Yes, Arthur is horrible to Elsie. Arthur is also 10 or 12 years old. He’s a child. Which is what makes Arthur’s fate particularly disturbing.

Mr. Horace Dinsmore had almost unbounded influence over his
father, who was very proud of him; the old gentleman also utterly
despised everything mean and underhanded, and upon being made
acquainted by Horace with Arthur’s misdemeanors he inflicted upon
him as severe a punishment as any one could have desired.

And that’s that. One paragraph. Keep in mind, Daddy Dinsmore was quite willing to whip his 8 year old daughter for doing poorly in school. Who knows what as severe a punishment as any one could have desired is. What’s more severe than whipping? I don’t even know, but clearly Finley is quite satisfied with it. You can practically see the smirk with which she wrote that, condemning a child to some punishment worse than a whipping.

Such is fundamentalist forgiveness. Such is the love of Jesus, for everyone- except the character stand in for that kid that bothered me as a child. He was a child, too, who cares? Fuck him. He deserved it.

You see this attitude with their simple acceptance of Hell and the people suffering there. Ghandi? Totes in Hell. Fundies will tell you this in the same tone of voice I’ll tell you the cheese grater is in the drawer to the right of the stove. Fuck Ghandi, he deserved it.

Seriously, these people make me shiver.

 

Posted in deconstruction, elsie dinsmore | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

The View From Up Here

Posted on May 13, 2012 by personalfailure

Most of the time when I see Bo, I see this:

He is even softer than he looks.

That’s us watching Law & Order. As soon as I sit on the couch, he hops up, snuggles into my lap and heaves a great big sigh of contentment and goes to sleep. We do this for a half hour before I go to bed, and I haven’t been having nearly the problems with insomnia I used to. There’s just something infinitely relaxing about a warm puppy sleeping in your lap.

Look at those neatly trimmed toes!

When we got Bo, he didn’t know what “good” meant. At all. If I used “good” in any context within earshot of Muggsy, he got all happy. I once commented that the pizza we were eating was good, and Muggsy started spinning around in circles, he was so happy.

Bo, on the other hand:

Me: Good dog, Bo!

Bo: [...]

Me: Good, good boy!

Bo: [...]

Seriously, Bo’s Former Owners, how the fuck do you have a dog for 3 years and not manage to teach it what “good” means? I did try “good” in Spanish, French, German and Russian just to be sure, but no, Bo is scared to death of “no” and “bad” and had no idea what “good” meant.

After five months of using “good” while Bo eats, is petted and given treats, if I address him directly with “good”, as in “Bo, good boy!” he will hesitantly wag the tip of his tail twice. He’s not really a tail wagger, my Bo.

Except for when I come home from work. Then his tail does a full 360 like a little propeller. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even know dogs could do that with their tails.  He also makes a sound like a penguin being tortured at the same time. I can’t imagine what the neighbors think.

How could you not give him a treat just for being cute?

Bo makes the funniest sound when he’s taking a treat from your hand. I can only describe it as “snarf”. That’s what we call it. It’s that sound you make when you’re playing with a little kid, and you put your hands up like a shark to gobble them up, the sound that accompanies that? Yes, that sound.

It is hilarious.

So at least once a day this happens:

Husband: Wanna hear Bo snarf?

Me: Hell, yes!

Husband: Bo, c’mere! *gives treat*

Bo: snarf

Me and Husband: HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Husband: *gives treat*

Bo: snarf

Me and Husband: HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Bo: moar treetz?

Husband: Sorry, Bo, no more.

Bo: I haz a sad.

Me: All right, one more treat.

Husband: *gives treat*

Bo: snarf

Me and Husband: HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

 

Posted in Bo | Tagged | 8 Comments

If You Don’t Know What You Are Talking About, STFU

Posted on May 11, 2012 by personalfailure

Withdrawal is like this, without the white uniforms, and with a lot more puking and crying.

I love depending upon painkillers to live my life- and by live my life, I mean the severely limited life that would look normal on a 97 year old. No healthy 36 year old considers restricting fluids so as not to have to stand up and walk to the toilet “living life”.

It’s awesome, though. I love calling my doctor’s office every 28 days for a refill of a prescription and spending 20 minutes on hold and then having to practically shout, “Yes, Vicodin, that’s what I want refilled!” in the middle of a law office. I love it when the prescription doesn’t go through for whatever reason and I have to make 5 phone calls to fix it and every person on the other end of the line acts like I’m making a fuss because I’m a junkie, not because (1) I expect people to do their damn jobs, and (2) I don’t want to be in the kind of pain that necessitates Vicodin HP and tramadol, and neither would you.

I especially love the look the pharmacist’s assistant gives me when she hands me my prescription. She starts out all kinds of punctiliously polite until she picks up the bag and sees what’s in it, then she’s all kinds of narrow eyed suspicion, trying to figure out how a well dressed, well groomed legal secretary can be such a junkie.

It’s awesome.

This isn’t helping, Al Messerschmidt. This is an article attempting to debunk the idea the ex football (American football, not soccer) players kill themselves due to repeated subconcussive brain damage. He makes a great argument, Al does, up until this:

Chronic, physical discomfort happens to be a major risk factor for suicide. People on painkillers are also more likely to be addicted to drugs—a risk factor in itself—and they’re also known to have a higher success rate when they do attempt suicide.

Allow me to explain the difference between addiction and physical dependence. I am physically dependent. If I were to suddenly stop taking Vicodin after all this time on the dose I’m on, I will go into withdrawal. This happens three or four times a year when somebody fucks up my refill and let me tell you, I wouldn’t wish that on Hitler. No matter how bad movies try to make withdrawal look, they’re not even coming close to what it actually feels like.

I’m still not an addict. Addiction is a mental process, physical dependency is a physical process. Addicts are often also physically dependent, but not all physically dependent people are addicts. Most aren’t. My body depends upon Vicodin because bodies are lazy. If you give your body a pill to do what it should be doing on its own- dealing with pain, preventing seizures, regulating heartbeat- your body will stop doing that entirely and let the pill handle it. If you withdraw the pill suddenly, your body freaks the fuck out. It’s lazy, it doesn’t want to do that work anymore, and dammit, it’s not going to.

That’s just my body, though, it’s not addiction. I don’t obsess about Vicodin, I don’t take more than prescribed, I don’t take it for a mental feeling, I don’t lie about taking it, I don’t let it interfere with my job or personal life- because I’m not an addict.

Are you getting this, Al?

No, of course you’re not, because then you wrote this:

Or consider the story of the hockey enforcer Derek Boogaard, written up last December in a Pulitzer-nominated series for the New York Times. After years of bare-knuckled brawling on the ice, writes John Branch, Boogaard’s hand was a mess: “The fingers were bent and the knuckles were fat and bloody with scar tissue, as if rescued a moment too late from a meat grinder.” It was a condition that left him strung out on painkillers, and in and out of drug rehab. He died from an overdose in 2011.

Can you imagine what his hand felt like? I can. I’m probably feeling it right now. (Something’s going on with my right hand. I’m veering between pain that brings tears to my eyes and patchy, tingly numbness.)

Here’s what happens to most pain patients: they don’t get appropriate pain relief. The doctors, terrified of the DEA, or just unable to imagine pain they’re not in, prescribe far less pain relief than the patient actually needs. So what does the patient do? If that patient is me, the patient suffers. And suffers. And suffers. I do consider other means of getting more pain relief, like scamming doctors or finding a drug dealer, but I’m just too much of a scaredy cat to actually do it.

Other people are more impulsive, or more desperate. Instead of getting painkillers in an appropriate dose from a responsible doctor who can monitor and care for them, these patients are forced to scam or illegally buy painkillers and then take them without guidelines or monitoring. Guess why rehab doesn’t work? Duh, because these are pain patients, not addicts. You can’t treat tuberculosis by prescribing insulin, and you can’t treat pain through drug rehab. It’s absurd and it happens every day.

Hey, Al, because of people like you, I’ve started limping every time I’m in my pharmacy, even if I’m not picking up a prescription. Just so the pharmacists and their assistants might actually think I’m in pain. I normally prevent myself from limping because limping puts stress on muscles, ligaments and joints all the way up through the neck and I don’t need more problems, but I limp my way through the pharmacy just in case some assistant might look up, recognize me and think, “Oh, she’s actually in pain. She’s not a junkie!”

Seriously, fuck everyone.

 

Posted in atheism, pain | Tagged , , , , | 18 Comments

Strawmen Abound, Apparently

Posted on May 10, 2012 by personalfailure

Liberalism, through the eyes of a conservative.

Thanks to [redacted] for emailing me a link to stupidest shit I’ve seen in at least an hour!

Remember that strawman post I had the day before yesterday? The people who really need to read my posts never do, because now we have more strawmen. Liberal strawmen this time, pretending to be black.

I’m not making that up.

I give up. I’m tired of defending conservatism, so I’ve decided to give it up in favor of becoming a liberal.

Hey, welcome to the club! Yeah, defending the party of Ayn Rand and Jesus simultaneously must get exhausting. I mean, how do you even do that? The cognitive dissonance must be painful. Poor thing.

Let’s face it, being a modern liberal is a lot easier than defending the Constitution, social institutions, religion, or capitalism.

lolwut? I love the Constitution and social institutions. What does that have to do with anything? As for religion, well, I do love the Constitution, so I support your right to be religious. Also, as a lover of the Constitution, I support the separation of church and state. And capitalism? Whatever. You’re a community college professor, Euripides. You couldn’t be more removed from capitalism if you tried.

 It’s also a lot easier to give in to an ideology where I no longer have to be responsible for my actions or my decisions, since, if they agree with liberalism, that is all that really matters.

Oh, yeah, we don’t care if you rape children, as long as you vote Obama. C’mon now.

Actually, that’s a conservative problem, Euripides. True story, yo. Remember all that whinging about Acorn and voter fraud? Yeah, well, a conservative group did the exact same thing recently. Did you hear about it? Of course not. Fox News won’t report on conservatives acting badly, only liberals acting badly.

 Plus, there are many benefits to becoming a liberal:

1) No matter how dumb I may sound, other liberals, and especially the media will never question my intelligence.

Fox News is not liberal, you jackwagon. Stop pretending conservatives don’t own the media. When conservatives behave badly, that’s not a liberal media conspiracy, it’s just conservatives behaving badly. Sorry.

2) I can now claim group status with any oppressed group I want to, and gain government benefits and entitlements just by virtue of my claim.

There are government benefits to being black or a woman or gay? Since when- I want in on that shit!

Oh, wait, there aren’t. There are no benefits nor entitlements that go along with being oppressed. We just get shit and pay the same taxes. Also, I could call myself black all I want, I guarantee you at some point, someone will look at my pale paleness and ask the obvious question.

I can also say whatever I want to about my chosen group and be treated as if I were a spokesman, er, spokesperson for all. Anyone who disagrees with my status in the group is a racist.

Dear Lord Byron, did you just use racism to excuse your racism?! I . . . I . . . I don’t . . . Ow! Stop hurting my brain!

3) I no longer have to give to charity, saving myself a lot of money in the process, as I can now just tell rich people to pay more taxes to support government programs that will benefit me. Hence, I can feel compassionate and superior without really having to do anything myself.

I give to charity. Look, the reason you can claim that conservatives give more than liberals is simple and based on religious privilege in this country. Conservatives are far more likely to be church goers. Church goers give money to their church. This is considered giving to charity.

However, churches don’t use 100% of that money to help the needy. They may no use any of it for that purpose. A significant portion of that money will always be used to maintain the church, the physical building and paying the pastor. That’s not giving to charity, that’s paying your gym membership.

IIRC, Euripides is mormon. He may well tithe the expected 10% of his income to the mormon church. What does the mormon church spend that money on? Well, almost $4,000,000,000 of those tithes went to build a shopping mall. Don’t lecture me about charity.

4) I can now take the moral high ground on every issue by telling anyone who disagrees with me that he or she is a racist.

That’s the second time that’s come up. Look, if you get called a racist on a regular basis, you may want to consider that you actually are a racist. Hahahahaha! Of course not! It’s all a huge liberal conspiracy!

5) I can now insult and demean people with impunity, refuse to hear or allow any dissenting argument, and still feel open minded. After all, everyone else but liberals are haters and don’t deserve to be heard.

That is a shiny, shiny mirror, Euripides.

6) I’ll now be able to rip on America for all of its injustices. I can feel free to burn its flag. I can demand reparations for other countries because of our long history of imperialism. And, best of all, I can still be more patriotic than anyone else.

When was the last time someone burned a flag? Yes, America is filled with injustices. Recognizing them and working to end them is a hatred of America? Okay, then. Let’s just continue to suck.

7) I can start using abusive language, dropping the f-bomb into my everyday language, because being edgy is part of liberal culture. Besides, I’ve always wanted to get a good string of obscenities into my conversation, especially at school. Being liberal gives me the perfect opportunity to unleash my pent-up profanity.

What is this I can’t even. Although I would enjoy the Obama press conference that would result if this were true.

8) I can ignore the Bible and insult religious people and still consider myself a Christian, because my God is completely loving and forgiving of everyone but those haters.

Maybe Former Conservative would like to address this one. I really can’t, other than to say that I have read the Bible and I think FC is a lot more in line with what Jesus is purported to have said than any conservative is.

9) I’ll now be extolled by my fellow liberals for my vast courage when I stand up in the middle of a group of us to say something that we all believe.

Every group is an echo chamber, Euripides, including yours.

10) I’ll be able to ride around in my private jet and own a mansion, all the while talking about how much everyone needs to cut down their carbon footprint, without being called a hypocrite.

When am I getting my private jet and mansion?! I’ve been liberal for years!

11) I can make gobs of money in the entertainment industry (where I’ve always wanted to be) and travel around the country telling people how evil capitalism is.

I don’t work in the entertainment industry. Man, I suck at this being liberal thing.

12) I’ll be able to call women sluts and whores, as long as they are conservative. All of my new feminist friends will also agree with me and applaud my courage.

Stop lying, Euripides. That never happened. Well, when Rush Limbaugh did it, all the conservatives supported him, but . . . are you just going to accuse liberals of everything you do? Is that it?

13) I can now join several social movements and get excused from teaching classes in order to attend important rallies. I plan on protesting against KFC (because I never really liked eating there anyway), and, of course, I’ll join the Occupy Wall Street group because corporate fat cats owe me for all the time I’ve worked and not gotten rich.

That never happened, either. Stop lying.

In short, I’m fed up with the government. I want my debts paid off. I want my healthcare for free. I want my pension paid out. The government just isn’t doing enough to help me. So, I’m waving goodbye to conservatism in order to get my share. It’s only fair, right?

So it’s fair that bankers can torch the economy, destroy pensions, topple the housing market and then the rest of us get to die in a gutter of treatable illnesses? That’s fair?

When you get done punching the strawman, why don’t you come debate some real liberals, Euripides?

 

Posted in atheism, euripides | Tagged , , , , , | 22 Comments

The Deconstruction of Elsie Dinsmore: More than Cake

Posted on May 9, 2012 by personalfailure

We must never forget that Elsie Dinsmore is the original Christian witnessing novel. Actually, it would be impossible to forget that as often as we are hit over the head with proselytizing. For instance, sharing a tender moment, Elsie and Daddy Dinsmore discuss Elsie’s long dead mother. It’s kind of a nice scene.

“Dear papa, am I like mamma?” asked Elsie, who had caught a part
of his words.

“Yes, darling, very much indeed, and I hope you will grow more
so.”

“You loved mamma?” she said inquiringly.

“Dearly, _very_ dearly.”

“O papa! _tell_ me about her! _do_, dear papa,” she
pleaded eagerly.
“I have not much to tell,” he said, sighing. “I knew her only for
a few short months ere we were torn asunder, never to meet again
on earth.”

That’s kind of sweet, telling Elsie she is much like the mother she never knew yet idolizes. Elsie’s reaction is jarring. She goes straight Ray Comfort.

“But we may hope to meet her in heaven, dear papa,” said Elsie
softly, “for she loved Jesus, and if we love Him we shall go there
too when we die. Do you love Jesus, papa?” she timidly inquired,
for she had seen him do a number of things which she knew to be
wrong–such as riding out for pleasure on the Sabbath, reading
secular newspapers, and engaging in worldly conversation–and she
greatly feared he did not.

Elsie is 8 years old and already engaging in the favorite fundy past time of judging another’s salvation. I had no idea secular newspapers were such an issue in 1835. The fundies of today act like the US was a Christian paradise until the 1960s. I wonder what sort of articles 1830s secular newspapers published that were so offensive. Probably treatises renouncing slavery.

But instead of answering her question, he asked, “Do you, Elsie?”

“Oh! yes, sir; very _very_ much; even better than I love you,
my own dear papa.”

“How do you know?” he asked, looking keenly into her face.

“Just as I know that I love you, papa, or any one else,” she
replied, lifting her eyes to his face in evident surprise at the
strangeness of the question.

“Ah, papa,” she added in her own sweet, simple way, “I do so love
to talk of Jesus; to tell Him all my troubles, and ask Him to
forgive my sins and make me holy; and then it is so sweet to know
that He loves me, and will _always_ love me, even if no one
else does.”

And that is belief in a nutshell to me: I feel something without proof and I like feeling it so I continue to do so. There’s nothing particularly wrong with that. Whatever gets you through the day. Until you start legislating your belief and hating other people because of it and oppressing women and . . . yeah, it can get out of hand pretty easily.

 

Posted in deconstruction, elsie dinsmore | Tagged , , , | 13 Comments

Strawmen Don’t Punch Back

Posted on May 8, 2012 by personalfailure

Christians are all stupid. They all believe the world is flat and the moon is made of green cheese. I’m so much smarter than Christians!

Of course none of that is true. Christians, as a whole, aren’t any smarter or stupider than any other group, nor do they believe the world is flat and the moon is made of green cheese. I suppose it might make me feel better to construct a strawman Christian that stupid, but to what purpose? Well, I guess whatever purpose Heather Lynn of Southern Fried Family had when she constructed this strawman of feminism.

Today, I am going to share with you Part Two: My escape from feminism.

Now, I say “escape”, but really…it’s a battle I *still* fight.

lolwut? Do the feminism ninjas stop by your house on a regular basis to karate chop you back to sanity?

The world tells me in order to be a strong woman I must:

~Have a formal higher education

Yes, because having a college degree is a bad thing. College graduates only earn twice as much in a lifetime as high school graduates. That’s terrible and to be avoided.

Anyway, I don’t have a college degree. Lots of feminists don’t. Feminism doesn’t require college, it just strives to make it an option for all women who want to attend. If you don’t wish to attend college, don’t.
~Work a full-time job

(Because, it takes two incomes in today’s world, right?)

That’s two totally separate things. First of all, feminists believe in choice. If you have the ability to choose, I support your choice to not work, work part time or work full time. Whatever you want. Secondly, yes, unless the one income is over a certain amount, it does take two incomes to survive in today’s world. That’s just a fact. You know, like math? I guess you didn’t get a college degree, Heather, but surely they covered counting in kindergarten.
~Not submit to any man

~Strive to be equal with men

Yup. You got me. Well, except for the “strive” part. You are equal with men. You don’t have to strive to be equal. You have to strive to be treated as an equal.
~Treat men like they are all stupid and ruled by their lust

I’m sorry, Heather, that’s you, not me. That’s your modesty culture, blaming women for inciting men to arousal and rape. I believe men have the ability to control themselves and that woman should be able to stumble around naked and drunk and come out of it unraped. Feminism is evil, isn’t it?
~Have a nice body, and be willing to show it off

What the fuck? I have never, ever, ever heard a feminist demand a certain body type from women. In fact, feminists decry the patriarchy’s control of women through body image. That is a bald faced lie, Heather, and I’m pretty sure your god had something to say about that.

As for showing it off, sure, if you want to. I’m not going to tell you how to dress. You’re an adult, buy whatever clothing you want.

~Walk away from a marriage if *my* expectations are not met

If you don’t want to be married, don’t be. Again, you’re an adult. I accept your right to decide your own life.

~Have *me* time, because *I* am the most important person to focus on

As if occasionally looking away from the children and husband is an evil feminist concept.

~Allow the government to have the biggest influence on my kids through the public schools
and many other things that just FLAT aren’t true…
Sorry, Heather, I’m not buying that sending one’s kids to schools gives the government the biggest influence over them. They’re still your kids, they still live with you, you’re still the most important person to them. Besides, I support homeschooling. My sister was home schooled for years. I just think it needs to much more heavily regulated than it is now.

Feminism, it’s mostly about choice.

Posted in feminism | Tagged , , , , | 32 Comments

A Dog Is a Dog Is a Dog

Posted on May 5, 2012 by personalfailure

Most of the time, we ask dogs to be rather undoglike. We ask that they relieve themselves outside on a schedule, that they walk on leashes, that they only chew on certain items we have designated for chewing. None of this is unreasonable. A lot of it is purely for reasons of safety. But every now and then, a dog just needs to be a dog.

A dog being a dog.

I’ve finally started transferring my garden from plastic cups in my dining room to the ground in my back yard. (It’s going slowly, thanks for asking. I get around 9 plants in the ground a day. I have around 150 plants. I may someday be done.) So I brought Bo with me, attached him to the 20′ training lead and attached the lead to the deck support to give him a chance to roam around while I gardened.

Still being a dog.

I turned my head for about 30 seconds and when I looked back, Bo was furiously digging in the garden. Ever seen a dog dig? They hunker down on their back legs and the front legs just fly, covering their belly and back legs in dirt. Bo’s belly and legs are white. By the time I turned around, he was a gold and black dog. Oh, and his feet are webbed, so it’s really fun to get dirt out from between the pads of his feet.

That’s what I was thinking about when I first saw him digging. “Bo-” I started, fully intending to lecture a dog on how much effort I expend to keep his whites white, and he turned and looked at me, the expression on his face “Hey, this is AWESOME! Thanks!”

More being a dog.

So I let him dig. And dig he did. When he was done digging, he sat in the hole, completely satisfied. Apparently, he’d been waiting his entire life for the chance to dig a hole and sit in it.

Sometimes you just have to let a dog be a dog.

Then I sprayed this stuff on my plants to keep away the rabbits. The active ingredients are dried blood, putrescent egg solids and garlic oil and it smells even worse than you would think. Guess who thought that smelled fabulous and started licking it up off the dirt? My disgusting little dog, that’s who.

I took him inside. There’s a limit to these things.

Posted in atheism, Bo | Tagged , | 6 Comments

The Next Person Who Says “Friend Zone” Is Getting High Fived with a Rocket Launcher to the Face

Posted on May 4, 2012 by personalfailure

Every time you use the phrase “friend zone”, this is what you are saying to me, and every other woman on the planet:

I am a woman, so I’m not good enough to be friends with.

I am a woman, and there is nothing valuable about me other than my vagina.

I am a woman, and if you can’t stick your dick in my hole, talking to me is a waste of time.

I am a woman, so I have no thoughts worth listening to, no jokes worth laughing at, nothing, nothing, nothing about me has any value other than the sex I can provide.

I am a woman, I’m not even human.

Posted in misogyny | Tagged , , , , , | 25 Comments

The Empathy of Privilege

Posted on May 3, 2012 by personalfailure

Everyone at Rapture Ready, pictured on the left.

Imagine being homeless, unless you’ve already been homeless, in which case feel free to skip to the ranting. You are never safe. You never belong. You can own nothing you can’t carry on your person. Finding a drink of water is a struggle. Eating becomes a special occasion, not a regular thing. Bathing and wearing clean clothes are things you used to do.

Human is something you used to be.

Nobody will look you in the eyes. You have ceased to exist in the eyes of the homed, their gaze slides right past you. They no longer hear your words. The only hint they give that you still inhabit the same world they do is the scrunch of the nose as they catch the smell of not bathing, the twist of the lips in contempt as you shuffle by, hungry, tired and ashamed.

Now imagine that the things you need are held in the hands of people like this- and keep in mind, most of the time, this is true.

Lastnight in our small group we got on the subject of ministry and where we were serving. At our church, they have a homeless ministry and one of my friends in the group lastnight was telling us about her experiances serving there.

Quite frankly, something about that ministry has never really felt right to me and I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m just not led in that area, or maybe it’s because of my family members in law enforcement who tell me that many homeless people are drug addicts and criminals who actually chose this lifestyle so they can keep buying drugs. But, there is something that really bothers me about our church going out into the city, serving in soup kitchens and giving hygiene kits to the homeless and not sharing the gospel with them.

Yes, homeless drug addicts sat in their mansions and said, “You know what’s easier than living in such luxury? Doing heroin in an alley. Now that’s a plan!”

So, we had this debate lastnight. My friend, Jean, was telling us specifically what she did was hand out hygiene kits so the homeless could get cleaned up and maybe find a job. She said it felt great to know she was serving and doing something good, but that at the same time, bothered her that some of them, instead of being grateful, were actually kind of demanding, and she said even one prostitute came up for a kit. (I did ask how she was sure the woman was a prostitute and she just told me it was obvious and left it at that).

Homeless people are one thing, but homeless prostitutes?! Way over the line. And how dare homeless people not kiss my feet for acknowledging them. I mean, there’s nothing frustrating or tiresome about being homeless at all, is there? Homed people manage to freak out at the McDonalds drive through, but how dare homeless people get the slightest bit demanding, or anything less than grovelingly grateful?

My husband and I asked her if she shared the gospel with anyone. No, she didn’t. Did anyone from the church share the gospel? No. Did anyone even hand out a tract? No. Then my husband said, “So, what good did it do? If that prostitute died that night she would have gone to hell bc all you gave her was a hygiene kit when you could have shared the gospel with her and she could have come to Christ.” Jean said she never thought of it like that before but that she guessed he was right.

What good did you do if you didn’t force the desperate to listen to your spiel before giving them help? If you’re not taking advantage of the desperate, what are you doing?

Social Gospel.

Worthless to have a clean body and full body – and still going to hell.

Says the woman who lives in a home, bathes regularly and eats at least three times a day.

Our church has a ministry to the homeless and we always share the Gospel. In fact, it is the main focus of the ministry. You would be surprised how many of them just want someone to listen to their story and struggles, which of course opens the door to asking where they stand with Jesus Christ

That makes me want to weep. Of course they want someone to listen to them- nobody will even look at them. But rather than appreciating their very human need for connection, you turn it into an opportunity to deliver your sales pitch.

JN 6:35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.”

Fuck off.

Robin, “Revolution in World Missions” is a fascinating book on the subject of evangelism. KP talks about having nothing to give dying street people (in India) – no THINGS, no food, no money, but he did give them the gospel and they died saved. He talks about the danger of the “Let’s get them on their feet, first, and then witness” approach, and says it a lot better than I ever could.

If he’d gotten them on their feet, they wouldn’t have died! What the fuck is wrong with these people?

The original idea behind doing these sorts of things comes from the original idea for Deacons (Acts 6), to help those in the body of Christ, to not burden the real purpose of the Church, prayer and ministry of the word of God. It wasn’t geared towards feeding random homeless people just because you had to demonstrate some amount of compassion. Not that its not a worthy thing to do or something, its just that biblically, its not our mission. If its not our mission, we’ll end up with strange moral choices, ones we never were intended to need to make. Is it wrong to give food to unrepentant sinners, even some God haters? These just aren’t solutions the Church was meant to provide to the world.

And Jesus said, He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise, but only if he’s a Christian, because if he’s not, you’ll end up making strange moral choices you were never intended to make, you know, like helping homeless people.

However, I have never met a homeless person who was saved. The ones I’ve met have all been drug addicted and mentally ill (at least in my part of Houston). We have MANY excellent shelters and programs to get people on their feet – if that’s what they want.

The homeless- all of them- want to be homeless, and they’re not Christian anyway.

Someone actually did bring up the story of the Good Samaritan. That was thoroughly ignored.

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